Unionists should sicken the Shinners by piling into Dublin this week and take their seats at the 90th anniversary commemorations of the formation of the First Dáil in 1919.
While Sinn Féin has wiped the eye of Fianna Fail in those celebrations, many republicans will cough nervously at suggestions the First Dáil contained a Gang of Three British agents.
This ensured every word was relayed back to Westminster where the other MPs elected in the 1918 General Election took their seats.
Sinn Féin clinched 73 of Ireland's 105 House of Commons seats, although three of them were elected in two different constituencies and 25 Shinner MPs won unopposed.
But the Shinner clique contained three Protestant spies – Fianna founder Constance Markiewicz; Lisburn journalist Ernest Blythe, who later set up the fascist Blueshirts, and ex-British Army officer Robert Barton.
Unionists were invited in 1919, but told republicans to 'bog off'.
Only 27 Shinners attended the 1919 Dáil, so had the 32 Unionists, Labour Unionists, Irish Party and Independent turned up at Dublin's Mansion House, an anti-Sinn Féin coalition could have outvoted republicans and collapsed the First Dáil.
But there's a real lesson for the Unionist family – its time to take the South in hand because Biffo Cowen and his Fianna Fail cronies have really bolloxed things up.
What will cure the Celtic Tiger of its economic woes is a dose of Northern Unionism running the 26 counties.
The biggest mistake Unionists ever made historically was not taking their seats in that first Dáil Eireann to give Sinn Féin a political bloody nose. Sure 43 of the Shinners couldn't attend because they were either on the run or in the slammer.
Unionists can also commemorate the First Dáil by pledging to reconstitute the Irish Unionist Party and organise south of the border.
Historically, it will undo the Great Betrayal of partition when Unionist bosses Carson and Craig turned their backs on Southern Protestants.
Unionists were forced to flee north, or show a 'fake loyalty' to the new Free State by becoming active in Southern fledgling political parties.
Unionists need to realise the pervert priests scandals have broken the power of Rome Rule in the Republic. The South is ripe for the political plucking again, especially with Protestant numbers on the rise and an active Orange Order.
And loyalists should amend their famous chant of 'Not An Inch' to 'Not An Inch – We Want a Mile!'
With Ireland sinking deeper into recession, the unthinkable soon needs to become a reality for survival.
It's not the SDLP Cowen should merge with – how about Biffo forming a new pan-Irish Unionist front with wee Reggie of the UUP and Dandy Dave from the Tories?
The Empire of the British Isles … that has a lovely ring to it.
And I'm pleased to see the Shinner leadership has listened to my advice and promoted the party's answer to Posh Spice – the gorgeous Mary Lou McDonald – to Vice President.
Even if her European campaign goes tits up, Posh Shinner is in a prime position to take over from Gerry.
About time we had some sexy Shinners rather than the usual boring ex-balaclava and beret brigade.
