The status quo will emerge victorious after Thursday's Northern European poll and I'm not talking about the legends of rock here.
MEPs Babs Brown from the Shinners, wee Jimmy Allister from the Tuvvies, and Big Jim Nick from the Ulster Unionist/Tory shotgun marriage will hold their seats.
Yip, I'm predicting the Robbo camp's new glamour gal, the dishy Diane Dodds will become Mrs Doubtfire and fail to win back the DUP's seat from Allister.
The Shinners' war machine – and I'm referring to vote management, of course – is sufficiently strong to mop up any protest poll by dissidents.
Word is, dissidents are being egged on not to vote at all, or to scribble the word 'traitor' beside de Brun's name on the ballot paper – a reference to Marty McGuinness's branding of non-Sinn Féin rebels as 'dissidents'.
As for the other Maginness – the SDLP's Alban – there's every chance the party will go into freefall, sparking the much gossiped about challenge to Mark Durkan's leadership.
Even if there is heavy tactical voting by Catholics, it will require massive abstentionism by the Garden Centre Prods and an evenly split Unionist vote to remotely think of two MEP seats going to nationalists.
In spite of Allister's 'kick the DUP in the balls' campaign, he might just be outflanked by the ex-Paisley camp if Robinson's lot pull a magic rabbit out of the political hat.
If deputy DUP boss Doddsy's missus can't cook up some clever spin, she'll have to rely on the prayers of the North's increasingly split fundamentalist lobby.
Even the ever faithful Free Presbyterian Church – founded by Big Ian and once the DUP at prayer – is divided like Moses in the Red Sea over the party in bed with the Provos' political wing.
The real key to an Allister victory will be the Protestant Bible Belt. Mrs D will only be returned if the tub thumpers turn out to vote DUP in masses.
Expect a good showing from the UUP's veteran MEP Jim Nicholson, now he's being politically bonked by the Tories. The DUP and TUV hate each other so much, they will give their second preferences to the UUP/Tory camp to wipe the other out.
Meanwhile, Pope Benedict must publicly disband any Catholic holy order in Ireland exposed in court as a result of the shocking Ryan Report revelations.
Grovelling apologies and the chucking around of compensation cash like holy water are meaningless.
Those who used the Catholic Church as a perverts' paradise need to be named and shamed in courts across the Republic.
And we need a similar probe of any alleged abuse under the banner of holy orders in the North.
Right-wing Protestants should not gloat at the Catholic Church's misfortune. What about the Kincora boys home scandal in east Belfast?
It was run by fundamentalist fanatic William McGrath, dubbed the Beast of Kincora.
The Beast – believed to be a British spook – even ran a loyalist terror gang, Tara.
Another of McGrath's sidekicks involved in the Kincora abuse against young boys was gay paedophile John McKeague, a leader of the violently anti-Catholic Red Hand Commando death squad.
The leaderships of the Free Church and the Papacy should call for those involved in Kincora and holy order abuse to be named in court.
But maybe that might lead to a few red cheeks in MI6? And Benedict certainly has his work cut out for him during his expected papal visit to Ireland.
