Dump the euro, bring back the punt, and join the new Trans Atlantic Alliance!
That's my sound advice to Enda Kenny and the Dail, as Dublin has just signed away its political birthright by not aligning itself with Brit PM Dandy Dave Cameron.
Dandy Dave's refusal to sign the pathetic, hair-brained scheme to supposedly bolster up the eurozone is the first shot in a plan to create a new global financial power block – the Trans Atlantic Alliance (TAA).
It comprises Britain, Canada and the United States and has the ultimate aim of kicking the euro specifically and the eurozone in general into touch. It will establish sterling and the dollar as the two main world currencies.
Nationalists across Ireland will have to swallow the bitter medicine that they have to commemorate the centenary of the founding of the Irish Volunteers and Irish Citizens Army by fighting a new War of Independence.
The South is no longer an independent nation. As long as it remains in the eurozone, Dublin must do the bidding of the French and Germans. The self-governing Celtic Tiger is now Paris and Berlin's totally obedient kitten.
How the tyrants Napoleon Bonaparte of France and Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany must be laughing in their graves at how their political successors can hold Europe by the balls with a few coins in a way their vast armies could never have achieved in the 19th and 20th centuries.
But how republican icons such as de Valera, Collins and Connolly must be spinning in their graves with anger at the way Irish independence was signed away by King Kenny at the stroke of a pen.
Even Emperor Robbo and his Shinner sidekick Marty would never have been daft enough to sign away Stormont's independence.
Nationalists have some hard thinking to do over the Christmas turkey. The euro cow's cash udders have been sucked dry by the South.
It's time to hook up again with the British Bulldog if the Republic is to have any ounce of political respect.
If the Scots are renegotiating the Union to cut their ties with England, then the Dáil should use the euro crisis to renegotiate a new Union.
For centuries, Southern Ireland was seen as a British colonial lapdog. Now it has become nothing more than the pathetic yelping pup of the frogs and krauts.
Does Ireland really want to mark the 100th anniversary of events such as the Easter Rising, Tan War, Anglo-Irish Treaty, and the First Dáil by being the colonial outpost of the new Franco-German Empire?
It makes sound economic sense to dump the euro and bring back the Irish pound. Political Irish unity is a non starter because of the credit crunch and the Celtic Tiger's collapse. A half-way house would be financial unity under the pound.
Another bonus which the Dáil could negotiate if the South abandoned the eurozone would be increased powers for the cross-border bodies, especially the British-Irish ones.
Dáil TDs could have a forum in Stormont, while Assembly members could have a forum in Leinster House – the All Parliament Pound Convention.
Northern Unionists must also follow this route. The longer the South remains with the euro, the more it will drag down the North's economy.
If Dandy Dave can hold the line against Clegg's lily-livered, euro-sucking liberals and the Westminster coalition survives, 2012 could be the year that Ireland as an all-island economy finally gets back on its feet.
Step one. Let's tell Sarkozy to clear off, and Mad Merkel to jump in the Rhine!
