Emperor Robbo's hare-brained blueprint to quit as First Minister if screws are not allowed to keep their crown badges could well bring back the horrors of Unionists' 1986 poll blunder.
Unionists were up in arms that year at Tory Prime Minister Maggie Thatcher's signing of the November '85 Anglo-Irish Agreement which gave Dublin its first major say in the running of the North since partition.
Thinking ahead as ever, rather than wrecking the accord from the inside by demanding an equal say in the running of the Republic, Unionists decided to risk a number of marginal Commons seats by staging a series of by-elections.
The poll protest backfired as Big Jim Nicholson, now an MEP, who was then MP for Newry and Armagh lost the seat to the SDLP deputy leader Seamus Mallon.
All the media focus was on Mallon's victory, not the other Unionists who retained their seats.
Unionists need to think with their heads and not their hearts over the screws' badges and emblems.
If the crown badge and 'HMP' title are to be scrapped, Unionists should campaign for the current jail regime to be replaced by a tough, American-style prison system.
Maghaberry jail, for example, resembles a holiday camp. Many of the inmates are living in better conditions than their lifestyles outside the cells. They are guaranteed regular meals, free health care, fitness suites and the chance to earn money and qualifications.
The old Maze prison was seen as a Sandhurst-style training academy for republican jailbirds.
The concept of prison does not instil fear into criminals any more. Many 'crims' see it as a chance to charge their batteries before returning to their time of making other people's lives a misery.
For a start, we need to bring back hanging for convicted murderers, especially child killers and very violent perverts.
As well as death row, a life sentence should mean life, not being conveniently freed after about 20 years.
Convicted sex offenders would be chemically castrated to ensure they were no longer a danger to society, if and when they were released.
Modern prison cells resemble rooms in a youth hostel. Cells more akin to those seen in programmes, such as America's Hardest Prisons, would become the norm.
And no more prisoners getting 'cushy' jobs in tuck shops. There must be a re-introduction of the Yank policy of the chain gangs were inmates work in all weathers for up to 16 to 18 hours per day fixing our roads.
If we wanted to keep ageing screws in post, then let's open a series of new borstals to house the legions of youthful louts who are creating merry hell in many housing estates, especially against the elderly.
Prisons should become some of the most depressive hellholes on earth, so every inmate – once released – will never want to do anything which sees them sent back to jail.
And if the ASBOs won't deter very young brats from being nuisances, then jail their bloody parents or guardians instead. Its simple; if the brats do the crime, mummy and daddy do the time!
As a Unionist, if this was the type of no-nonsense jail regime we got just for axing a wee crown badge and 'HMP' logo, then I would vote for it.
Robbo, on the other hand, needs to make sure he does not vote himself out of a post, handing the top spot to the Shinners' Marty McGuinness on a plate.
Given some of the 'crims' in our Northern jails, its not a case of throw away the crown badge, but lock up these convicted scum and throw away the keys!
