Take the Dublin road and set up a Unionist Embassy in the Dáil and in no time King Kenny will be begging Dandy Dave Cameron to let loyalists tramp where they like!
That's the graduated response Unionists should be taking if they have any titter of wit.
Walkouts did not work in 1985/86 against the Anglo-Irish Agreement – and it won't work now.
Unionists need to start thinking with their heads, not tramping with their feet. As for the Orange Order and the other Loyal Orders, they need to return to their religious roots.
Rather than focus on trying to get along contentious parade routes, they should concentrate on getting as many of their members back into Christian churches.
Unionists need a reality check that this is not 1974 when Sunningdale could be toppled by massive street protests.
It's 2014 and the PSNI has a new top cop in Geordie Hamilton, who takes a no-nonsense approach to people who breach any Parades Commission rulings.
The Brits have learned from their mistakes in '74 when they caved in to the loyalist paramilitary muscle of the Ulster Workers' Council.
And the Unionist leaderships need to finally wise up and realise they don't possess the same discipline over loyalists on the streets as republicans have mastered.
Republicans have the skills to fully control the tap of violence which they can turn on and off at will.
When Unionists call loyalists onto the streets, uncontrolled mayhem always follows. And it's equally clear that Big Hammy has converted his PSNI riot units into well-trained carbon copies of the Garda Siochana's elite riot cops.
Republicans took major leaps ahead of marching Unionism in the late 1980s when they used the Belfast Accord to set up the Maryfield Secretariat.
That gave Dublin its first major say in the running of the North since partition.
A Maryfield-style Unionist Embassy in Leinster House is the only graduated response loyalists should implement.
It should be manned by all the Unionist parties plus the Loyal Orders and should bombard King Kenny with a whinge list of all that is wrong with the South, republicanism, and the Catholic Church.
Phase Two would be use the North South Ministerial Council to demand loyalist representation in the Dublin Senate.
Unionism needs radical Right-wingers in the Senate; not liberal token Prods.
Kenny is crapping himself at the advance of the Southern Shinners. His nightmare scenario of having Gerry Adams as his Tanaiste after next year's Dáil poll is now a big reality.
The last thing Kenny needs is Unionists moaning about Southern ills and chirping daily about the political dangers posed by Sinn Féin.
Cameron also knows his Lib Dem partners will also be screwed after next year's Westminster poll. Dave needs a new Commons buddy to stay in Downing Street – so enter the DUP!
My Unionist Embassy solution is a workable graduated response for loyalists – provided they are smart enough to stay off the streets.
As for Sinn Féin, how can it stop the Unionist Embassy buggering up its agenda?
Simple, 'retire' Gerry and Marty and fill the party with draft dodgers who have never served their Shinner apprenticeships in the IRA.