There have been many instances of the power of a good heart in Northern Ireland's history, but Gina, the mother of the murdered teenager Michael McIlveen, is a recent and powerful example.
The whole McIlveen family have been determined that the ugly sectarian incident in which Michael died would not spark a vicious spiral of tit for tat fighting amongst the youth of Ballymena. They did not apportion blame; they invited Ian Paisley to the funeral and expressed gratitude when he telephoned them in their home. In the depth of their grief they called for an end to violence, hatred and suspicion, despite being subjected to sectarian taunts to which it would have been easy to react.
Gina McIlveen is still on a cocktail of tablets to deal with the misery she has endured since her bereavement. Even so, she has found it within her to send messages of condolence to the parents of the seven youths awaiting sentence in connection with her son's death.
I was reminded of Gordon Wilson as he stood amongst the rubble of the Enniskillen bomb calling for no "dirty talk" of revenge just minutes after his daughter Marie died clasping his hand.
In Homer's epic, the Iliad, Priam, the King of Troy, forgives Achilles for killing his son Hector in a duel, and asks for the return of the body. He says "I have gone through what no other mortal on earth has gone through; I put my lips to the hands of the man who has killed my children."
Some of the other Enniskillen victims were hurt by Gordon Wilson's words. They wanted blame fixed fairly and squarely and felt that he had blurred the issue. This attitude is understandable. Not all of us can react to bereavement in a practical and generous way. Not all of us can be a Priam or a Gordon Wilson or a Gina McIlveen.
Such gestures don't always work magic. The Greeks continued with the siege of Troy. After Enniskillen the IRA campaign went on for years, but never produced such an atrocity again and loyalists groups held back from the expected retaliation.
Forgiveness may be scorned by some, but if there are enough good people around it will eventually be built on. That is what happened in Ballymena.
The murder has brought out the best, not the worst, in the town. Sectarian incidents have declined and local schools have increased co-operation. The mainly Protestant Ballymena Academy, has, for example, offered to share some of its grounds with St Louis, the local Catholic Grammar, so that GAA facilities can be constructed.
Community groups, politicians, churches and teachers have done their best to reduce tension. To take just two examples, Sinn Féin has hit out at the intimidation of a Protestant community worker and, in Ahoghill, an evangelical Protestant group supported Catholic families suffering intimidation.
None of this could have happened if there had not been goodwill to build on, but the McIlveen's reaction helped bring out what was positive in local attitudes. If they had lashed out the outcome could have been different. People could have been encouraged into their trenches and the ideas of two communities instead of one would have been promoted.
Luckily Ballymena, like the whole of Northern Ireland, had plenty to build on. The divisions within our community are not brick walls. Michael McIlveen himself had applied to join the British army, he was also considering the Irish armed forces, and was meeting a Protestant friend on the night of his death. A picture in his home shows him with two Protestant friends.
Even those involved in his murder had cross community links. One had been brought up for part of his life as a Catholic. Michael had friends in common with his killers, one of whom went to an integrated school.
The father of one of the boys in the killer gang, a local businessman, told me, "I have Catholic friends, and my workforce is very much mixed. One of my son's best friends is a Catholic."
If the McIlveen family and their community had called for revenge such links might have been weakened, and even seen by some as dangerous folly. Instead, words of kindness and humanity have allowed community integration to be built on.
We can all learn from that.
