Relax. Northern Ireland's month of violence at communal interfaces was not the result of sectarian hatred with deep historical roots. It's a modern problem that can be blamed on the MTV generation.
It seems almost cruel to report such nonsense, but that was the analysis recently put forward by Drew Nelson, the grand secretary of the Orange Order. Nelson is generally regarded as a modernising and forward-looking figure by Orange standards, but here is what he came out with on July 4 after trouble erupted in East Belfast following an Orange parade.
"We are finding that a lot of young people, more than there used to be, are on the streets not just during our parades, but at other festivals and fleadhs that happen in the province," he observed. "My analysis [of] these young people, [of] what they think is cool and socially acceptable, is that they don't take their lead from the Orange Order or the churches or the traditional organisations, but from the media. They take it from people like MTV."
Nelson said he found it "quite damaging" that the MTV awards are coming to Belfast and that there will be an all-night bar licensed to sell alcohol until 6am. "Personally, I think that sets a very bad example for young people," he said.
At least it was an improvement on blaming the Catholics, which used to be the order's default position.
Most people regard the MTV awards in Belfast as a boost to the city's image, as it seeks to move beyond "Troubles tourism" and establish itself as a fun place to visit. Most people know we can't build a tourism industry on ex-prisoners taking people on tours of the murals and trouble spots of the last century.
That is an element in our offering but it can't be the whole experience, any more than the museums and monuments to the Allied landings could be Normandy's only means of attracting visitors. History provides a day or an afternoon out, but you need a feel-good factor too, and the sort of exposure a televised awards ceremony provides. What you don't need is an image as a place where the bars close early and there is nothing to do at night. What you need even less are pictures going around the world of rioting, petrol bombs and water cannon.
Tourists aren't the only ones to be considered. There are also investors and bright young people who have a choice between staying here or moving elsewhere with their talent, their drive and the excellent education they received at the province's schools and universities.
The Stormont executive is pitching to all of these constituencies.
There are plans to cut corporation tax to attract business, and airpassenger duty to help business and tourism. University fees are to be set at a level well below England and Wales to keep the brightest young people here.
All this, like the flagship Titanic tourism project, is being achieved out of the province's block grant. It is at the expense of other projects and budgets, because there is no new money to be had from London. So when there is trouble around Orange parades and at sectarian flashpoints, it undermines efforts to rebalance the economy.
Bubbles of positive publicity are easily burst, and bad news travels at record speeds. Last month, local golfing prodigy Rory McIlroy won the US Open. Journalists from across the world descended on the province to look at the golf courses that had spawned the talents of McIlroy and Graeme McDowell. Golf is big business in tourism terms, and American executives with money to invest in Europe tend to like having good courses and top players near to where they live.
Unfortunately, the McIlroy story didn't result in a publicity boon for the province. Instead, the camera crews and journalists were diverted to cover the rioting.
To put it in perspective, the trouble only affects a few areas and they are well off the tourist trail. Belfast is a safe city for visitors and locals alike. But such details tend to get lost. Instead, the message goes out that the Troubles could return, and that is the intention of some of those behind the disorder.
This summer's East Belfast disturbances flowed from a power struggle within the UVF. A local brigadier, as area leaders are called, wanted to flex his muscles. Police investigators had seized a pub as part of a probe, and the Historical Enquiries Team were investigating Troubles' crimes committed by loyalists. There is talk of a supergrass trial.
Behind it all there is a growing underclass of disaffected youths, particularly in loyalist areas, but also in republican districts, which feel they haven't seen the benefits of peace. There is also a long history of intercommunal rivalry, which is being gradually broken down but is still a factor. This provides an opportunity for determined terrorist groups, the rump of the UVF in East Belfast and the dissidents in areas like Ardoyne, to cause trouble. The marching season is the obvious time to do it.
Tensions run that bit higher than normal and teenagers are off school.
The Orange Order wasn't responsible for the past week of violence; that was sparked by other forces. Yet there is no denying the fact that the few remaining contentious parades provide the opportunity for determined minorities to stir things up.
Most of the parades pass off peacefully, but the order has shown no great urgency in resolving the problem of those that don't. It refuses to deal openly with the Parades Commission, or to talk to Sinn Féin, though some members find ways round the policy.
Earlier this year, the order set up a committee that promised "blue-sky thinking" on parades, but it will not begin work until September when the marching season is over. This is a poor response to a serious situation.
At the top of the political tree, Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness have given a lead. McGuinness offered to meet the order jointly with Robinson, so they could say they were meeting the first and the deputy first minister, not Sinn Féin as such. The face-saving proposal was snubbed.
There are particular concerns about next month's parade in Rasharkin, a 73% Catholic village whose Orange hall has been attacked 23 times in two years. Taking up McGuinness's offer could have helped calm things down and promote agreement. It certainly couldn't have hurt much.
Robinson and McGuinness need to stick together regardless. One joint task is promoting dialogue between marchers and residents. Another is isolating the remaining paramilitary elements and talking to those who are prepared to talk. Longer term, the imperative is to provide hope and employment in areas where young people feel they have nothing to lose by rioting and can be used as rent-a-crowds by fanatics.
That's for the long haul; first we have to get through the summer. The one bright spot is we have the MTV awards and late-night parties to look forward to in November. Come on Drew, be there or be square.
