The DUP is regularly the butt of jokes among the political and media establishment. Once a year, at its party conference, it gets its own back.
The Catholic Church, Sinn Féin, and the Dublin government were in the firing line last weekend. But it was the Ulster Unionists who really got the blood up.
Peter Robinson led the attack. Major UUP meetings were always located near a river, he noted. There was the Waterfront Hall and the Ramada Hotel by the Lagan, and last month its annual conference was held on the banks of the Foyle.
"If they're going to sell us down the river, they might as well meet close by,'' he quipped. Robinson thought Jeffrey Donaldson's continuing relationship with David Trimble was most unwise.
It was "a marriage of convenience" and Jeffrey was a very "ill at-ease bride". "Some say it was a white wedding. Others, a white flag wedding. Some were surprised it took place at all. But they had no choice but to get married - there was a little election on the way."
Robinson thought Jeffrey too innocent: ''He is being cruelly used. David is only marrying him for his votes''. And what was used as confetti? "That's easy - shredded Ulster Unionist manifestoes.''
Sammy Wilson, normally the star-turn at DUP conferences was missing, but Edwin Poots was the stand-in, comparing the UUP team to farm-yard animals.
The grave-looking Michael McGimpsey, resembled a horse "although the horse's face isn't as long''. Sir Reg Empey was "like a wee hen in a cage" with a "spindly wee neck, pecking and chirping away - though at least a laying hen does one useful thing a day''.
North Down MP, Lady Sylvia Hermon, was "the peacock, proudly strutting around - nice fan of feathers but no useful purpose''. Jeffrey was a collie dog useful for rounding up the sheep but hopeless at tackling republican rodents because he lacked the "killer instinct".
Finally, there was Trimble himself. A little red around the gills, flapping about without getting off the ground, he was the UUP's turkey. But there was one difference: "Unlike Trimble, even turkeys would have more wit than to vote for Christmas''.
Some people think the DUP goes too far with this stuff but most of us would laugh if the same jokes were told by a local comedian. And anyone in Northern Ireland politics should have a thick skin by now. So let's not be too hard on the DUP.
The Shinners got a touch too from councillor Ruth Patterson. They adhered so much to the cult of victim-hood that anyone who didn't make it onto their Short Strand video needed counselling, she said.
Besides the jokes, this was a significant gathering. With 750 delegates, it was the biggest party conference in Northern Ireland this year. The back-drop was magnificent. Between an array of Union flags came the slogan, 'Leadership. Vision. Commitment. Towards a New Agreement'. The DUP team sat, presidential-style, beneath.
The message was there are no DUP dinosaurs. This is a modern, dynamic party. The DUP was written off after the Belfast Agreement. The road had been long and hard, said Peter Robinson, "but the dark days and tough times are in our rear view mirror".
The DUP seems well on course for next May's Assembly elections. Let's hope when it overtakes the UUP as the largest unionist party, it doesn't lose its sense of humour.
