The political process teeters on the verge of collapse, a man is recovering
from a brutal beating, and Sinn Féin is getting excited. About plastic bags.
The party's concern isn't that Bobby Tohill, or rather bits of him, could
have ended up in a plastic bag in south Armagh. Sinn Féin focuses on far
loftier matters these days.
It reckons that what Northern Ireland needs most urgently is a tax on
plastic bags. South Down Assembly member Willie Clarke issued the demand as
Tohill lay, battered and bruised, in his hospital bed, and crisis talks took
place at Stormont.
"Abandoned plastic bags are an environmental eyesore which afflicts many of
Ireland's beauty spots," pronounced the MLA in a solemn press statement.
"I have therefore written to Angela Smith, demanding that, as the British
minister responsible for the environment here, she moves swiftly to follow
the example of the 26 Counties and extends this successful environmental
safeguard on an all-Ireland basis as a matter of urgency."
So the next poor sod dragged from a bar can at least be sure the ground on
which he receives his beating will be less litter-strewn if Sinn Féin has
any say on it.
Many similarly worthy issues will undoubtedly be addressed at the Sinn Féin
ard fheis in Dublin this weekend. It will be packed with crusaders like Mr
Clarke whose hearts beat with commitment to make the world a better place.
The richest party in Northern Ireland, and perhaps on the entire island,
will wax lyrical about social and economic deprivation. It will express
concern about the inmates of Guantanamo Bay. The Provos can point out that
they don't fly their 'prisoners' to the other side of the world. They deal
with them on home soil.
The ard fheis will hear denunciations of the Iraq war and US foreign policy.
But you can bet your bottom dollar that if President Bush happened to drop
by, the leadership would ensure all delegates were on their feet with
rapturous applause and 'cead mile failte' for the 'leader of Western
imperialism'!
Because Sinn Féin will say or do whatever it takes. Its spokespersons will
look straight into the camera and lie about Bobby Tohill, Castlereagh,
Colombia or any other dodgy deed.
And the British government appears willing to let them away with it. Paul
Murphy's declaration that the Independent Monitoring Commission will now
produce its report on the Tohill incident in May will really cause Sinn Féin
sleepless nights.
Why on earth do these people - all apparently of a high level of
professionalism and expertise - need two months to investigate something
which the average unskilled labourer could work out in two hours?
Why wasn't a speedier, more responsive mechanism set up? Those with
suspicious minds might wonder if Number 10 is just as keen as Connolly House
to buy a few months for the whole brouhaha to blow over.
Some unionists might believe Bobby Tohill isn't an appropriate person for
their leaders to make a fuss over. They might feel uncomfortable about the
matter. They shouldn't. Tohill is obviously no friend of unionism or
unionists. But it is the principle, not the personality, that is important.
There have been dozens of such incidents during the 'ceasefire'. They must
stop. The Provos should not be allowed to continue to abduct and assault at
will, while Sinn Féin preaches about plastic bags.
