Is it the fickle hand of fate or that old harridan, the Ulster banshee, that has us poised once again in the path of Armageddon – this time in the Gulf?
Way back in 1914 Irish home rule was suspended, allegedly until the outcome of
the First World War.
Now our own nasty little squabble
over the return of home rule to Stormont –
after months of fiddling and fooling,
feuding and filibustering – looks like getting enmeshed in a conflict so big and so awful
that our little trouble will pale into insignificance so that nobody will give a damn
who comes in through those swing doors
up at bleak house on the hill.
The talks and back-chat which have been ongoing since David Trimble
walked out on devolution and his duties in the executive, have suddenly been galvanised
by the spectacle of urgent pow-wows
in 10 Downing Street to get back to work
at Stormont for heavens sake!
There have been headlines about
alleged deals and Sinn Féin talk of most important get-togethers of politicians for a "100 years" – later amended to "20 years".
Trimble and ministerial companions
have been pictured bouncing nonchalantly
into the ornate Irish embassy in London.
There is glad-handing all around
before they leap up the richly carpeted stairs.
Not a worry in the world as Trimble
warmly greets Taoiseach Bertie Ahern
like a long-lost brother.
You would think there is something worthwhile pending but later there is no joy
for the hopeful media waiting outside.
"No deal" – not yet anyhow –
until that republican luminary PJ O'Neill descends once more from outer space
to write another chapter in that
much sought after book, The War is Over.
We never dreamt that one day fate
would get us mixed up with President Bush's world terrorist number two, Saddam Hussein – it's such a long way from Belfast to Baghdad.
But there it is, the same deadlines
have been mentioned for the outcome
of both crises – late February or 'the Ides of March' (Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 13, two days before the prophecy).
St Patrick's Day has also been mentioned
as a possible completion date,
but this year Washington is a doubtful venue
for the good news.
Bertie Ahern was also seen in a cheerful mood
at No.10, shaking hands all around,
as a smiling Tony Blair introduced him
even to the kitchen staff.
His mood outside was optimistic
that the 'difficulties' of never never land
can be cleared up.
But the reporters who have heard it all before, reporting back to Dublin and Belfast,
looked mournful.
They have good reason for their doubts.
Time is running out for both Belfast
and Baghdad.
While the UN inspectors search high up
and low down in Iraq for evidence
to support Bush's dire warnings
about hidden weapons of mass destruction,
the build-up by the US and Britain
of warships and aircraft carriers gathers speed – with a quarter of the ill-equipped British army
on its way to join the US army
equipped with the most up-to-date weapons
of modern warfare.
Against this background our sectarian Bore War and talk of the renegotiating
of the Good Friday Agreement as an election issue in May appears to the outside world
as futile and wrong-headed, to say the least.
People hitherto friendly to Norn Iron are losing patience with us.
A woman teacher from here was abashed
in Canada when a colleague
who had read about the shenanigans
at Stormont asked: "Are the people over there thick that they return politicians like that to represent them?"
Well, we may know more about that
if and when the election, still doubtful, is held as scheduled on May 1.
