Lagan and bubble come to mind when looking for words to describe the mode of transport some of Sinn Féin’s Belfast representatives have been using when they decided to ‘wait and see' what the so-called North and West Belfast Parades Forum amounted to. Can they be so naive as to fall for that ploy?
Is it because they are trying too hard to appear reasonable and accommodating? Or is it because they haven't been to see the film Troy and can't recognise a Trojan Horse when they see one? Or can they just not see the wood for the trees?
Let's go back to basics. Unionists hate the Parades Commission. They want it abolished because it brings the law into a hitherto unregulated arena where unionists called the shots, an arena which enabled unionists to demonstrate publicly that they own Norn Irn and can tramp over Fenians in any part of it any time they like. The Orange Order hates the Parades Commission. They want it abolished for exactly the same reason as unionists because with marches you couldn't slip a cigarette paper between the Orange Order, any other weirdo loyalist marching sect, any splinter of unionism or loyalist terrorists.
The Orange Order won't speak to the Parades Commission, won't speak to residents who live in the areas they want to trample over and have been looking for ways round the law since the Parades Commission was set up in 1997. Isn't it strange that although we all know which parades are going to be contentious, unionists and the self-declared ‘loyal' orders wait each year until the marching season has begun to come up with some proposal they hope will stall the Parades Commission? That's what their current contrivance, the Parades Forum, is about.
There are still some contentious parades due in Belfast before the end of August, but of course the Parades Forum has no intention of meeting any nationalists before September. Furthermore, although the Orange Order's Belfast Grand Mufti, the svelte, highly articulate, fashion icon Dawson Bailie, is on the forum, he doesn't represent the Orange Order, just himself. So why is he on it then if he doesn't represent anyone? Is it perhaps to see if he can complete a sentence with a verb in it?
The Orange Order won't talk to residents groups because they say they're a front for Sinn Féin and won't talk to SF because they're a front for IRA violence. Yet there is the said minor Orangeman sitting alongside members of the UDA, UVF and Red Hand Commando who, while on ‘ceasefire', have together killed over 30 people since 2001, most of them Protestants. The DUP, also represented on the forum, naturally applies the same sectarian double standards. Hypocrisy how are ye?
Strangely the Parades Commission recognises the forum and does business with it: a major breakthrough for unionists. The forum will negotiate with the Parades Commission but if they don't like the result they will say they don't represent the Orange Order and were not negotiating on behalf of the Orange Order. You can bet your bottom dollar that the Parades Commission is only delighted to be speaking to any group from the unionist community and will do their damndest to reach an accommodation with the forum.
The forum will also be talking to nationalists it seems. Not this year though. Maybe the week before the 2005 parade along the Springfield Road? Maybe you can now discern the Trojan horse through the mist? Parades Forum goes to Parades Commission and makes a deal. Parades Commission delighted. Parades Forum goes to nationalists and offers deal. Nationalists accept with some reservations. Everyone delighted. Or maybe nationalists don't accept. Parades Commission sticks to deal with forum because they're desperate to keep open channels to apparently reasonable unionists, an endangered species.
Either way it makes the Parades Commission redundant in Belfast. The Parades Forum will do its work. It takes the initiative. It controls the time of meetings. It knows the dates and routes of marches. It gets the best of both worlds. It appears to speak for unionists when it gets its way. It doesn't speak for them when it doesn't get its way. This is not the way. Forget all the twaddle from the police and our absent proconsul. Orange marches are not a ‘community issue'. Precisely because they are not is why the Parades Commission was set up. The way is to rush through more powers for the Parades Commission to close loopholes in its legislation and for the commission to require nationalists and unionists to deal with it, not with the inmates of a Trojan horse whose aim is to destroy the Parades Commission.
