Don't be fooled by the sudden lull in the Ulster political zoological gardens. The baying of the animals behind the bars has sunk to expectant growls as they get the whiff of feeding time in the air.
Their colonial masters have been busy behind the scenes preparing troughs of delectable goodies for the big deal in January.
In some urgent cases they could not wait. Some of the bigger beasts have already got their snouts into the top grade mish mash as Prime Minister Tony Blair, now derided by the Tories as a 'lame duck', urges his direct rule ministers to get the hell out of the Ulster mess as a matter of urgency. Secretary of State Hain, tired of his dual role consuming Ulster fries in Belfast and Welsh rarebit in Cardiff, hopes soon to escape to more exotic fare as foreign secretary.
He needs no urging and is now applying a mixture of soft soap and the big stick to the local dead-beat no-men. Was it his advice to throw caution to the winds by offering the Ballymena Bully Boy, Ian Paisley, the unbelievable gift of entry into the royal holy-of-holies, the Privy Council, as a kind of cuckoo-in-the-nest?
If the Queen demurred and Blair hesitated, in the end desperation won out and the Ayatollah, the bane of the establishment and denouncer of 'sell-outs' came across. Desperate deeds need a desperate remedy and as the BBC predicted, in a leak about the Queen's new year honours, there are more surprises on the way.
The DUP boss's wife they say surprisingly is to be ennobled as Baroness Paisley! So in one fell swoop the Paisley couple have topped the greasy ladder to leave the old world and the lower orders of the DUP far behind wondering what it all means. Who'll break the guilty silence?
The local chattering classes and their pundits have been unusually tongue tied of late, perhaps Shocked and bewildered by the signs and portents?
Strangely all this talk of preferment (dirty work at the cross roads) sent my mind spinning backward down memory lane. I recall the late Eddie McAteer, the nationalist leader talking to me on the phone from Derry on a Saturday afternoon.
He said in pursuance of every avenue of approach to grapple with the frustration of the north's anti-Catholic discrimination in jobs, housing, and voting rights, he was petitioning the 'highest source of appeal in the UK', namely, the Royal Privy Council, above and beyond the Lords and Commons which had turned a deaf ear to the decades of misery imposed by Orange one-party rule in the six counties.
I thought this was a good story and managed a front page special in that week's Sunday Independent. McAteer's document, or grand remonstrance, detailing the evils of the Stormont government's squalid story of officially sponsored discrimination was duly received by the Privy Council but it was weeks before he received any response. In fact he got nowhere for his pains and I well remember his frustrated remark on the phone.
"James, do you know that this pathetic so-called Privy Council is only an ornamental body appointed by the sovereign?
"It's the cabinet all over again in disguise; so no hope there".
Well, that was another door closed leaving Brookeborough and his discriminators free to fulminate from every platform against the employment of 'disloyalists', alias Catholics. It took a good few years before that oldie was torn to ribbons by the explosive launch of the civil rights movement and the turmoil of the 30 years violence and killing, which should never have happened if cabinets and privy councils had acted with justice and decency when confronted with the truth. Strange that the Privy Council is now a mere myth from its inception in the early days of the British monarchy. Membership is described as a titular honour as a reward for public and political service. The council now numbers about 420 members appointed by the Queen on ministerial advice including members of the royal family, senior judges, two archbishops, the speaker and cabinet members and commonwealth spokesmen.
The meetings, held at Buckingham Palace, are brief and the members remain standing. On occasional ceremonial gatherings those wishing to attend appear in outsize floppy hats and robes marching past looking rather ridiculous as the cameras pick out familiar faces of former premiers resplendent in their colourful glad rags.
Apart from all this nonsense the lawyers have ensured that the council has a place in the legal system of the United Kingdom.
We have heard little about the fact that at present it is also the Court of Appeal for determining devolution issues under the UK devolution statutes of 1998.
An interesting footnote for Stormont watchers points out that under the Constitutional Reform Act 2005 this will change with a transfer of devolution
issues from the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council to the new courts (The Supreme Court).
A warning to the assembly, if it ever meets. Watch out for wigs-on-the-green.
